This pregnancy has been so different. With the boys, it felt like normal life. Of course after we got married, we'd have a baby... his pregnancy was normal with typical morning sickness, lasting until 18 weeks. With Josh, life wasn't too hard, the morning sickness was actually less than with June, but I did feel more and more like a mom since I was juggling a still-very-much-baby June and carrying Josh (somehow with "just one" you never quite feel the same weight as when there are 2 or more).
With Elizabeth, her pregnancy was harder *and* we had just become first time home owners with the "everything will start to break" clause in full gear *and* I had a 2yo and 1yo *and* Jim was in grad school *and* Jim was dealing with some kinda major health concerns *and* just when I was coming to terms with the idea that I would soon be a mom to 3, the boys got a 3 week long stomach bug. The external circumstances during her pregnancy were completely uncanny. I kind of felt like I wasn't ready for her. Life was intense and not all in good ways.
With this baby, my perspective is all different. First of all, I miscarried prior to conceiving her. If you want perspective on life and pregnancy, that will give it to you in one massive dose. I respected life going into her pregnancy, instead of feeling like I was just constantly handed it ("Here's a baby for you. And another baby for you. Oh, and here's a 3rd in 3 years" Um yeah). On top of that, because of the miscarriage, we were blessed with a bigger gap. A YEAR bigger of a gap.
I felt "ready" for a baby when she was conceived... for the firs time ever, I didn't freak out finding out I was pregnant. Annnnnd then, I was 5 weeks pregnant wit her and morning sickness hit. I was fatigued and headache-y and nauseous and fatigued and more nauseous. Until 24 weeks, I didn't feel well. At all. TWENTY FOUR. There were times I became determined that this had to be my last baby bc it was horrible going through those first 24 weeks. I felt awful.
The side effects of her pregnancy plunked me firmly into 25 weeks and the fog lifted. My headaches became only every few days... I could get through a day without a nap... I started to feel... normal. It's cool bc I feel like I didn't really focus on the baby for 24 weeks. I focused on the pregnancy. Now, I am excited for this little girl growing and thriving. I love feeling her little feet poke my belly skin. I love her little thump-thump-thump hiccups. I love the name that we are "sitting" on for her. I love that there will be a newborn to care for and snuggle. I love that we are adding another sibling to the roster. I love that I get to start over.
I'm looking forward to this peanut. I am anxious and ready for December to come. I feel at peace with her entering our clan. It's different than any other pregnancy... harder and easier. Physically harder, emotionally so much easier.
So, here we are: Third Trimester. 28 weeks. 12 to go. Bring it. :)
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