Don't "be careful" http://happinessishereblog.com/2014/08/26/dont-be-careful/
She basically talks about how kids are competent... bottom line. Kids are competent at working through their surroundings and their play, on their own, whether at a playground on monkey bars or climbing structure, or in nature over real rocks or around trees, through a creek or what have you. Now, granted I have been know to actually say "be careful!" often, but the author is right. Kids know their physical limits. They gain so much from being able to explore and play. Unstructured play.
I have noticed before that there have been times where I am sitting back and I see other moms look at my kids and then glance at me... no, I'm not ignoring my children; no I'm not being lazy. I'm letting them play and if you watch them, like I am, you will see that they are completely capable of what they are doing. At the sand park (which is a swimming pool sized sand box with toys and boulder rocks), are they allowed to climb on the boulders? Yes. They know how to without slipping and falling because they have tested it slowly over time and know it's boundaries. On playgrounds are they allowed to climb and dangle and explore? Yes. They have, for years, tested out these various play structures... they know the layout and the height and their ability to climb and steady themselves and complete their tasks. Sure there have been times when they were little and got hurt, but that was part of the learning too. Those boulders at the sand park can be slippery for little feet... a scraped knee or two was right of passage to gain knowledge of the rocks. Josh has taken the fire pole at the park too fast and landed harder than he anticipated, but it hasn't happened since. They haven't ever been hurt hurt at a park because they have slowly learned their limits. They have had exposure over years and years and slowly gained confidence and skill. It all started by allowing exploration from an early age.
I'm all for attentive parenting also, they don't just go without a watchful mama-eye. I'm always there with them at the park. I'm always watching, but I won't hover. I do a head count every so often to verify that nobody has wandered and June and Josh know to check in with me periodically. I don't agree, at the ages that my kids are, with letting them be out of sight and off on their own. Something else that has to be taken into consideration is knowing your kids. Emily already, at 20 months, knows to stay away from open gaps on a jungle gym. She can navigate one without issue regardless of how big or high it is. She is, however, fearless on slides so that is a point where I need to stay near because I know she can get hurt on a big twisty slide of I don't slow her down (mainly to watch her crocs from catching against the side of the slide and sending her flying). However, she has learned her ability to do what where (other than turn-y slides). She will walk over to a climbing area and study it. She'll look it over and sometimes even put a foot up on the bottom bar. I can see her processing and assessing her ability to make it up the structure. You know what? She can't climb up those. Not yet. So she looks, waits, thinks, then toddles to the stairs. She also tries to get up slides... I let her try. Why not? She can't do it yet, but she gets a few feet up and then slides back down. She's learning. I'm there, she feels secure and she is free to explore. I know it must look odd when I am sitting on the side lines and my peanut is navigating the playground. She knows what she's doing and I make sure I can see what she is doing as a double-check. Inversely, Josh at her age would try things that he wasn't quite capable of doing... he would do and then think. He would also wander away without thought of coming back. He needed to be watched more closely. I knew his limits and let him explore within his own safe parameters and he's grown into a still-brave, but competent playground kid, but I knew his temperament set him up for risky play as a toddler. It wasn't safe for me to keep as much distance. I think if you know your kids you can give them the appropriate amount of space and freedom to play and explore.
The first time I thought about any of this was my junior year of college, my roommate mentioned how her siblings were free to roam and play without supervision. They lived in the country and their surroundings set them up well for that, however, her mom was the big key for success. She said, in different words, that her mom trusted that they would stay close and play safe. They were given safe and healthy freedom. At the time, I was an anxious person, but how she described her mom seemed like a breath of fresh air. Her mom trusted the kids and that trust parlayed into safe and fun play. I have tried to transfer that mindset into my parenting and it has made things easier in many ways. There are so many things in parenting where you have to be "on" your kids for and correcting and limiting and directing... their play is something that they can navigate and they can learn so much from the play as well. It's really a win-win, you just have know your kids and trust them on the appropriate level. :) ...or at least that's my humble opinion. :)
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