2018

2018, in many ways was a wonderful year.  We were minimally sick, no major injuries, happy school happenings, have had a really fun time as a family throughout this year, and Jim and I both had good job happenings.

Jim: In 2018, I felt like Jim really found his groove being in management for PPL.  His music scene also took off.  He played 34 shows, including Musikfest and 5 shows in 8 days at one point!  Just at the tail end of 2018, Jim got a pretty big promotion, which is awesome news.  He's worked his tail off and it's showing.  Jim has also clicked into being an amazing father.  He always was, but seeing the selflessness, compassionate, and silly side has been pretty awesome.

June (11, gr 6):  June started middle school this year. He tested out of 6th grade math and into pre-algebra and is holding his own in there. He has handled the responsibility of middle school well and loves Fortnight something fierce.  June also started having his friend Xavier over almost daily.  I love that he has a friend who is close enough to walk over and just chill for a bit.  Lastly, June played baseball in Spring.  His team made it pretty darn far in the playoffs, which was so fun to watch.  June struggles a bit with hitting, but is an awesome infielder and pro base runner. He sat out fall-ball this year and chose to try wrestling.  It's not easy being a first year 6th grader, when many kids start wrestling at age 5.  However, in his second meet he pinned his opponent!  I don't know what wrestling will hold, but I love seeing him try something new and learning.

 

Josh (10, gr 4):  Josh is such a sweet kid.  He can be found playing with the little girls and is often outside.  Josh started 4th grade this year and just turned TEN!  His teacher "gets" Josh (which I so love and feel like Josh needs) and is helping him to thrive this year.  Josh can have issues with completing homework and have trouble with organization.  He's growing this year, though.  I can see it.  Josh also played baseball in both Fall and Spring.  He was one of the top players on his team and played in the All-Star game.  Josh taught himself a back handspring and his long-term goal is to learn a standing back tuck.  He's has some heath hiccups.  We are watching his headaches and his cholesterol came back a bit high so we are monitoring that too, but those things don't keep Josh down.  He keeps trucking!

Elizabeth (8, gr3):  Elizabeth has continued her gymnastic journey, working on back handsprings and ariels currently.  She became an independent swimmer this year and has been able to join the boys in the deep end.  Elizabeth is doing well in school and loves her teacher.  She wants to please and is eager to help when asked.  She has a feisty fire, but she's also very mellow.  Elizabeth's biggest passion is baking.  At library she picks out cooking and baking books and she and I currently love watching any baking shows.  I'm curious to see if her love translates into action over time.  I am not a baker, but she has this passion which may translate into delicious goodies and baking skills... we shall see.

Emily (6, gr K): Emily has blossomed this past year.  In the summer she taught herself how to swim... as if it was no big deal.  She might be better than Elizabeth, quite honestly.  She loves going down the Macungie Pool's twisty slide and has completely ditched her Puddle Jumper.  In August Emily starting Kindergarten, and I held my breath.  Last year I had her evaluated by Early Intervention.  Emily's extroverted nature and seemingly missing social boundaries had me concerned.  However, she passed her evaluation and I was given a head pat and told how to raise a spirited child.  I reached out to a friend of mine, Kristina Grum, who runs Thriving Parents. Kristina knows and loves Emily and was able to give me some insight and pretty much nailed Emily's temperament and needs.  Emily is very sensitive and wants to do good, but when unsure she goes into "fight" mode.  She will test boundaries and go beyond social norms until she feels at ease, by rules, expectations, guidelines, etc.  ANYWAY, this year in Kindergarten she is THRIVING.  Her teacher is absolutely wonderful and Emily has done so well in school.  She loves school.  During breaks, she counts down the days until school starts again.  Her learning is taking off too... she's a budding reader, rocks at math, and such an enjoyable little girl.


Annie (4):  Annie has morphed into a big girl this year.  She got new glasses recently and takes her responsibility of wearing them pretty seriously.  Annie is one of the more laid back Conrads, but like the rest, there is a will and fire under it all.  She's not a pushover.  Annie's favorite color is purple and her favorite thing right now is getting a new shirt from the store.  She loves graphic tee's. Haha. Annie has been loving MOPS and talks about her friends there often.  Annie's favorite person is June.  The two of them love to draw together.  Miss Annie is soaking up all that being 4 has to offer.

Me:  So.... me... I toggle between feeling like this year was smooth sailing to feeling like it was one of the hardest yet.  The highlights were that everything was good with the family all year.  We had good health, good school, a good summer, good vacations, no injuries, and happy memories.  I was brought on to do contractor work with The Growing Place and did my first ever postpartum doula work.  The Growing Place asked me to join them on their staff in 2019 and I said yes.  Beyond that, Baby Love had 7 doula births, each wonderful and unique.  I love growing as a doula.  Coaching ice skating has been wonderful too.  I have the best boss and amazing amazing skaters under me. I love seeing them grow and improve.  I can honestly say that I love my jobs.  They make my heart so happy.
 Personally, however, there's been more of a dark cloud.  I've thought a lot about this.  We have been dealing with infertility and that has been hard. And weird.  We the parents of a "honeymoon baby" and "5 kids in 7 years" are now cast into the realm of secondary infertility.  WEIRD.  2018 was first not being able to conceive and then three consecutive losses.  Blow after blow after blow.  Being a bereavement doula, I know to let myself feel and process and grieve as to lead to healing, but you know how doctors make the worst patients?  I feel like I understand why.  It's been a weird toggle of "Am I doing  enough? Am I feeling enough?  Processing enough? Don't ignore grief, Susie. Don't push it aside."  Then also feeling like "Others have it worse. Perspective, Susie.  Don't wallow. You are fine."    However, I'm pretty sure that I've allowed myself enough processing and healthy outlooks.  This year was hard, but it was good.  What lies ahead could be healing and beautiful, or hard and heartbreaking.  I don't know, but what I do know is that these 5 lives that are here with me are amazing.  It's crazy and loud and rambunctious and stressful to raise many children.  It's also rewarding and fun and the dose of perspective that 2018  provided allows me to enjoy them so much more.  When faced with death (sorry, morbid, but it's the truth of what we faced) you see beyond the little stuff and soak in the big so much more.

So here's to 2019... I don't know what it holds, but my hope is that 2019 brings as many happy memories as 2018 did. Onward and upward...