At MOPS there was a speaker who said something that struck me. Life is change. She commented how we can't wait for a constant. We can't wait for a calm. Life is constantly changing. As my earlier post expressed, I hate transition. I don't hate change per say but I don't like the process of going from 1 norm to the new. I don't like growing or stretching. I'm good with ordinary. With predictable.
So I struggle in times where my life doesn't seamlessly flow. I'm struggling now. I want to be Super Mom and Susie Homemaker but I'm just me. Flounder through meeting the demands of the ordinary day. I lose my cool. I stress. I fixate. I detach. But what I realized tonight is that not all change is bad. Some change and some transition is welcome... Is for the better.
These are small and to everyone but me, they mean nothing but I want to list a few transitions that are working. That are good. Change for the better. The top ones I can think of involve Josh. The first is gross but, eh, motherhood is gross.
Until recently Josh would only... defecate... While sleeping and in a diaper. He did this like clockwork, during nap and at night. Let me assure you, in case you were confused, changing a poop filled four year old butt is no joy ride. More than that, being awakened way before you wanted to, to change said soggy night diapered butt is borderline revolting. We tried and tried and tried to get josh to potty before nap or bed to no avail. Josh would poop at night until he was 30.
Suddenly, he got interested in going potty before nap and bed. Surprise! I think it stemmed from painful wipings and some serious rash issues but whatever, he started pooping IN THE POTTY. It's been consistent for weeks and is a huge relief for muah: token diaper changer.
Secondly, and less gross, is the transition to normal food for Josh. We both can relax regarding food. It has already been easier to feed Josh and I haven't even gone on a post-allergy food shopping trip yet. Wait until I stock the house with normal food!! Cooking has already proven a lot easier too. This has been a wonderful transition and a relief for both of us.
So, see, change and the transition into change doesn't have to be bad. I need to remember that. Particularly when dealing with miss Elizabeth and her not as pleasant transitions. Though I have to give her props. She has done very well with no pacifier and even napped well today. I'll take it.
One breath at a time. One step at a time, riding each wave of change as best we can. Life would be flat and predictable if things never flip flopped around. And that would just be boring (not that I remember what boredom feels like) ;)
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