Crazy beautiful motherhood

I stumbled upon these things and as hokey as they are, they struck a cord.

and 

Both are kinda corny and not exactly reality, but they have the same message.  Motherhood is not pretty.  It's messy.  It's challenging.  It's emotional.  It's frustrating.  Sometimes it's really frustrating.  These little people come into your life and they are needy and defenseless and it's our job to protect them and mold them and it's a lot of work.   I remember my sister in law being pregnant and I was SO excited for her to have Zachary.  I distinctly remember the top graphic on this page playing out in my life.  Emily was in a rough sleeping patch (like crazy rough... up every hour or so, rough) and I was completely exhausted and running on fumes and hosting a party at the time.  I remember talking about babies and pregnancy and all it's wonderfulness with a fond happiness.  Meanwhile, behind the scenes, things were hard for me as a mom. I. was. exhausted.  I was worn thin.  I wasn't lying though when I spoke those happy words about pregnancy and babies.

The hard/sticky/smelly/tiring amid the wonderful doesn't change anything.

It's supposed to be hard.  It's hard because there is so much up-keep... there is way more self sacrificing.  There is more cleaning and helping and fixing.  There are long nights and fussy babies, defiant toddlers, and messy houses.  Amid that, motherhood remains wonderful.  Motherhood remains fulfilling.  Motherhood remains the single most awesome thing I have ever done with my life.  No life.  Motherhood is emotionally draining.  At times it is physically draining.  It's hard.  To it's core, it. is. hard.  Not hard like a college class is hard or hard like a work out is hard, it's a different hard.  It's an enduring, all consuming, never ending absolutely gratifying hard.  No words touch it exactly.

Over the last few months, I have watched several of my friends become moms for the third time (in 3 or 4 years).  To them I say this...

I see you.  I was you.  I have watched your motherhood journey and I'm so proud of you.  Right now is hard for you though.  I know it is.  Your oldest is little.  He/she is the leader of your pack, yet he/she is probably the one at the hardest age.  They are three or four and HARD.  I feel you on every level.  Then you have a one or two year old who is still a baby themselves... running on toddler emotions and naughty fun.  And you have your beautiful baby.  The baby feels easy because you have more to deal with your older ones.  Your baby is often your refuge, your sanity.  You've got that.  You can handle that precious little one, but all three combined feels like a lot.

It is a lot.

Maybe it even makes you question yourself.  Or worse, others see you and vow to not have motherhood be that hard for them.  Both are wrong.  You are doing it right.  You didn't make a mistake by having all of your children, or having them close.  Three years ago, I was where you are now.  I had a newly 3 year old, a almost 2 year old and an infant, an easy infant. I had a sweet girl who napped well and held a pleasant temperament.  I had a very sensitive, emotional young toddler and a bull headed preschooler.  Life was hard.  I felt defeated.  I felt busy.  I felt crazy.  Really crazy.  My husband was in grad school and working full time, an hour away.  The kids all seemingly needed me, a lot.  I felt sometimes like I didn't have enough to give, but I did.  I forged ahead and I am so glad I endured.

Now I have a competent first grader, a sweet (though still emotional) preschooler and a sassy sassy toddler (oh, a baby too :P).  Life hasn't gotten a ton "easier" but it's changed.  It's lighter.  The kids play.  They have unique and intertwining relationships, which hold such deep roots because they are not only buddies but siblings... siblings on par with each other.  My oldest is old enough to listen and help.  My middle, of the first three, can independently play like nobody else and their little sister looks up to them with such admiration and a connection forged deep.

It's still hard.  It's still busy.  I still fight the mommy battles and the house battles and try to balance everything while looking like a normal 30-something person, but having our kids when we did was right.  I see the pay off and you will too.  Keep forging ahead.  Tantrum by tantrum, spill by spill, crying baby by crying baby.  Fight the good fight mamas, you won't regret it.

Hard isn't bad... hard is conditioning us to better forms of ourselves.  All good things worth doing are worth doing well... and you are doing wonderfully.  Forge on, busy mama.  You've got this.