Going to Bed... and Staying There!

Here is another "brain bookmark" for me as a parent.  We seriously dealt with this with June and probably will with our others sooooo... here is a solution:

From: http://drphelan.typepad.com/dr-thomas-w-phelan/

Going to Bed—and Staying There!

Apparently we’re on the right track. In our latest online survey almost 40% of our responding parents said that bedtime was a major problem. Well, here’s what you can do about it. The procedure takes about thirty minutes, though you don’t have to always be involved the whole time.

First, you pick a bedtime and stick to it. Don’t just say “Time for bed!” whenever you happen to remember it. One-half hour before bedtime, you tell the kids it’s time to get ready. Your signal to the kids means, by prior agreement, that children about five and over have to get ready for bed on their own (you’ll help the littler ones). Getting ready means whatever you require: teeth brushed, bath or shower, pajamas on, etc.

When the kids say they’re ready, they check in with you.

If they are in fact ready for bed, you praise their accomplishment and tell them it’s story time. Or you can just sit on the bed and talk. However much time is left in the half hour is how much time they have for their story or for talking. When bedtime rolls around, kiss them good night and leave the room (don’t forget to put on a floor fan for the white noise).

Now comes the fun. What about the bored and scared youngsters who won’t stay put? First of all, it’s attitude adjustment time for mom or dad or both. Don’t even dream that these children will stay in bed after you’re gone. Instead, get a chair and put it in the doorway of their room. Get yourself a good book and sit facing out of the room. If the child gets up, you escort them back to bed.

You cannot talk after bedtime! If your son or daughter keeps getting up, stop the escorting and let them sleep on the floor if they want. But they cannot leave the room.

What does this procedure do for our bored or scared little ones? The bored kids soon learn that they can’t leave the room, that there’s no point in feigning hunger or thirst (that was all taken care of in the half hour prep), that you’re not going to talk to them, and finally, that they might as well just go to sleep. And they will!

The scared kids, on the other hand, are reassured by your presence. If you don’t play games getting in and out of the chair, as the nights go by the children will go to sleep more quickly than you ever imagined. In a few weeks you might not have to sit in the chair at all.

At bedtime a relatively small investment can pay big rewards. After the kids are asleep, it’s mental health time for you!

Questions? Fire away.