Husband & friends

I've been reflecting on, well... life and I really have come to some conclusions.  There are 3 types of people you need in your life more than anything else, especially while battling through these my-kids-are-all-young-and-there-is-only-one-of-me years.  Hopefully life will shift and change and morph and there will be new challenges and new roads to travel and new busy-ness and new... life.  However, right now might take the cake for drudgery.  Maybe not... ask me when I'm on #8 if life was harder when I was expecting #4.  Anyway,  it's hard now in some ways because my kids are all itty bitty.  They rely on me.  *I* do the housework.  *I* cook the meals (unless Burger King does).  *I* do the laundry.  *I* bathe the children.  *I* change the diapers.  *I* run the errands.  Most of what gets done around the house and with the kids 99% falls on my shoulders.  I don't have big kids.  I don't have another set of eyes or hands.  I don't have someone to sit with my kids so I can run out.  I'm the gatekeeper and master of the house.  Until my oldest gets older, it'll be this way, for years to come.  So for those reasons, life can be tricky.

To get through the "most-of-life-relies-on-me" phase you need a few things:



1. Husband

It's easy to squabble with your husband.  At times, it's easy not to even like him.  It's easy to get resentful (he gets 2 hours of alone time in the car and 8 hours kid free at work, plus the hours after bedtime... daily).  But the reality behind all of that is that he's your greatest asset.  He's your tag team partner.  He's your backbone and without him, I would be nuts.  His life is hard but he's an ally and make it all work.  I can't describe it, and if you know Jim and me well, you know how not lovey-dovey-"you-are-the-greatest-person-ever" type of couple we are.  We are real.  We've always been real, and I think we both wear our hearts on our sleeves.  If we aren't happy with each other, you will see it.  There are no facades with us.  And things aren't always cake... we are expecting a 4th child within our 5th pregnancy and are only on 6 years of marriage.  Don't tell me we chose an easy life!  Things shouldn't be roses and butterflies, but beneath it all, we have a solid core.  We get each other.  He's necessary to me and a piece of sanity.



2. Family

Another core for me is family.  Your relationship changes within your family when you go from being a child to being an adult and forge that final and real relationship with your family members.  But it's awesome.  I've  formed such a strong relationship with my family over the last few years and I wouldn't trade them for the world.  Not for anything.  It's something you work at.  It's something you grow and build once you become an adult, but I get the feeling that you either grow the relationship and it prospers or you let it lie and it will fizzle over time, losing depth.  The second is a travesty all together, quite frankly.  I love the real relationships that have grown and prospered.  Each and every one of those family members are essential and  welcome, and needed.  I'm glad we live close to family and I'm glad they play a pivotal role in our and our kids' lives.



3. Friends

The season I am in right now is very friend-reliant.  My days go better when I touch base with friends... text, facebook, emails, or visits in person.  My friends are my outlet to the outside world.  All of them bring a breath of fresh air into my days.  Some friends are not going through what I am and that's ok.  They pull me away from mommy-mode which is more than needed and give my brain a break.  Then, there are those who are exactly where I am.  They fully understand and there is something so awesome in that.  Friends can pull the positives out of a crappy day.  Friends can take a frustrating situation and defuse it.  Friends just really are an amazing part of my life right now.  If I was stuck in my house without my outside links, I really would go nuts.  Family presents an overall foundation and solidity.  Husbands make our lives all work (since we typically... don't work, haha) and are a core.  Friends get us through the parts of the day that family and husbands don't.  The sticky parts.  The MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY parts.  The "this is the 6th poopy diaper I've changed today" parts.  The "if this kid tantrums one more time..." parts.  Friends give us something to do and someone to talk to who is over 3 feet tall.  Friends are sanity and I'm beyond grateful to have established a few really true friendships that hopefully will stand the test of time and that really do bring me through my days.  You know who you are. :)

So to all those that I've mentioned here, thank you.  Without you, I wouldn't be half of the person, wife, and mom that I am.  Thank you for accepting me with all my imperfections and for liking me anyway.  I can't describe my gratitude, but thank you!